Wedding Crashers Quotes

• "Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye. "
• "I went with Chazz who you forgot to tell me is totally insane. He also might be a genius because it actually does work, he's cleaning up. "
• "You sandbaggin' son of a bitch! "
• "We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that get so aroused by the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind. "
• "After my ninth stint in rehab, Craig - ah Craig, Craig was the only one who still believed in me. Been sober now for eight months. "
• "How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: You don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse. "
• "Rule #16: Give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot. "
• "Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion! "
• "You banging the daughter and the grandma? How much jam you got, man? "
• "HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF? "
• "That was my first Asian! "
• "I mean like, hunt a human being right now, "Most Dangerous Game". Like a worthy adversary. Not a human being that's armed, but a clever, a clever, human being who knows the jungle. Or the woods. "
• "Would you say you're completely full of shit or just 50%? "
• "Yeah, we lost a lot of good men out there. "
• "I am going to go dance with the little flower girl. Oh, and I might be a charter member of Oprah's book club. "
• "You better lock it up. "
• "Lock it up!"
• "Call me "Kitty Kat". "
• "I'd like to be cowboys from Arizona or pimps from Oakland but it's not Halloween. Grow up; Peter Pan, Count Chocula."
• "I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. Okay? I'm not gonna apologize, I'm a cocksman! "
• "Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket! Rule #115! "
• "I made you a painting. I call it "Celebration." It's sexual and violent. I thought you might like it. "
• "I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a bitch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John! "
• "Rule #1: Never Leave a Fellow Crasher Behind. "
• "You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts. "
• "You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house? "
• "You motorboatin son of a bitch! "
• "Erroneous! Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts! "
• "Erroneous! "
• "Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep. "
• "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me! "
• "I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick? "
• "I got to get outta here, pronto. I got a stage five clinger. Stage five, virgin, clinger. "
• "I got a stage five clinger. Stage five, virgin, clinger. "
• "Well, the guy wants to run for president, he thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease."
• "I almost numchucked you, you don't even realize! "
• "Mom! The meat loaf! Fuck! "