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"You changed your name to McLovin?" "The guy's either going think 'here's another guy with a fake ID', or here's McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor. Okay? So what's it gonna be?" "McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?" "Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe." "You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site." "Besides, have you ever seen a vagina by itself, Not for me." "It's not the "going" I'm worried about... but the "coming"." "McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with you penis?" "I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, "I love my best friend, Evan."" "I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let's make a move." "What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift." "Calm down, calm down. She likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. That's a good thing. It's the best." "I am gonna give you the best blow J. With my mouth." "You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds." "When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. For some reason, I don't know why. I would just kinda... sit around all day... and draw pictures of dicks." "You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hinds it AND it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton." "Sounds like a sexy hamburger!" "Momma's making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth's own dressing." "He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles."