Robin Williams Quotes

• "Carpe per diem - seize the check."
• "Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money."
• "If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?"
• "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
• "Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!""
• "The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?""
• "The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev."
• "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
• "We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself."
• "When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?"
• "You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
• "God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at once."
• "Gay robbers came in last night and rearranged the living room"
• "Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose!"
• "You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
• "Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!"
• "I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church."
• "A game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it [golf]"