Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

• "Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore."
• "A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?"
• "Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time."
• "Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys?"
• "I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."
• "What are you gonna do today, Napoleon? Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh!"
• "Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done."
• "Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak."
• "Maybe I will, GOSH!"
• "Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip."
• "Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day."
• "Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day."
• "Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."
• "You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow staff."
• "I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!"
• "Do the chickens have large talons?"
• "Heck yes! I'd vote for you."
• "Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache."
• "Well, when I came home from school my head started to get really hot. So I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. So I laid in the bathtub for a while, but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head hot. So I went into my kitchen and I shaved it all off. I don't want anyone to see."
• "Ugh. Kip hasn't done flipping anything today!"
• "How long did it take you to grow that moustache?"
• "Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. That suit, it's... it's incredible."
• "You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."
• "Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."
• "Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?"
• "Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!"
• "Tina, come get some ham."
• "I caught you a delicious bass."
• "Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true."
• "Vote for Pedro."
• "How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?"
• "Napoleon, give me some of your tots."
• "No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't get to eat anything today."
• "Can you bring me my chapstick?"
• "Uh! Idiot!"
• "Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT."
• "I'm voting for Pedro Sanchez, who do you think?"
• "Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally."
• "I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' 120 bucks."
• "Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile."
• "Yeah right. Who's the only one here who knows the illegal ninja moves from the government?"
• "You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."