Knocked Up Quotes

• "Fuck You! You fucking fag with your fucking little faggy gloves."
• "You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a midget in the crowd."
• "Fuck me in the beard."
• "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever."
• "Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!"
• "Hey, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out!"
• "Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong?"
• "You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth."
• "It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything."
• "You know, the best thing for a hangover is weed. Do you smoke weed?"
• "It is, like, the best medicin. 'Cause it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. We just... got high and... it still clicks but, I mean, he's ok."
• "Please take the chairs away. I don't like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll."
• "Now that's how you get pink eye."
• "If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich.""