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Eddie Izzard Quotes
Eddie Izzard Quotes
"And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do," but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that." "Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun)." "I am an evil giraffe, and I shall eat more leaves from this tree then prehaps I should, so that other giraffes may die." "I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from." "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup." "I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not, no. No one was alive then!"" "I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less." "I'm a one-man idiot." "Never put a sock in a toaster." "Performing enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we can swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play to you. That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance." "So my choice is 'Or Death?'." "So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!" "There's a huge hole in the whole Flood drama, because anything that could float or swim got away scot-free, and it was the idea to wipe out everything, He didn't say, "I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole."" "They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash" "Twang him into a tree!" "You know, Catholicism, we believed in the teachings of Cathol, and everything it stood for." "You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants." "MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic." "Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others." "I wanna live 'til i die, no more, no less" "I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees... putting on make-up when you're up there!" "Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house - arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged - seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it - is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler - killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't - stand for that, will we?" "The NRA says 'guns don't kill people, people do.' But I think that the gun helps. You know? I think it helps. I think that if you just walked around going 'Bang!' you wouldn't kill too many people would you? You'd have to be really dogdy on the heart for that to work. I think that people should just try that. Walk around going 'BANG, BANG, BOOM, RATTA TAT, BOOM, RATTA TAT, BOOM!' I think that they should just try it." "He was a genius. To think all these years on his comedy is still making us laugh [on Charlie Chaplin]"