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Dave Chappelle Quotes
Dave Chappelle Quotes
"Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!" "Oh my god. Open and shut case, Johnson. I saw this once when I was a rookie. Apparently this nigger broke in and put up pictures of his family everywhere." "Hey, baby! Stop selling weed!" "Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!" "I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it." "Im rich bitch!" "No one calls 911 cool and relaxed. Now that shit would sound ridiculous." "Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it." "Then Jasper said "Look here, nigger, if anyone's gonna have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me."" "Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?" "New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried." "Every group of brothers should have at least one white guy in it. Im serious for safety, cuz when the shit goes down someone is gonna need to talk to the police." "I dont like letting my freinds drive drunk, but i was smokin' a joint i really couldn't say shit to the guy." "I knew it was a bad idea, but I was high. I tried to explain to him that it was a bad idea but all that came out was well nigger sometimes you gotta race, i don't know." "No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack." "The old baby on the corner trick a, not gonna fall for that shit." "Get out of here cracky." "What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant." "Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger! Woogie boogie!" "I'm sorry, Charlie Murphy, it was an accident. I was having too much fun. I offer you a truce. The stickiest of the icky. You want to smoke with the old boy Rick James?" "I'm Rick James, bitch." "Bitches! Come over here and show Charlie Murphy yo titties!" "Skeet Skeet Skeet!" "Let's talk about Chinese people! With their kung-fu and their silly chang-chang-chong talk! We can't understand you! Go back to yer country! White power!"