Artie Lange Quotes

• "Women will do anything she [Oprah Winfrey] says, and that is why we can't have women voting."
• "The [Boston Red] Sox probably want you to make a movie [like Fever Pitch where they won the World Series] about them every year."
• "We [Artie and Jessica Biel] don't even look like we are in the same species."
• "Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing."
• "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story."
• "You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went "wait, don't curse""