Anchorman Quotes

• "You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair."
• "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly..."
• "That's the smell of desire my lady."
• "God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me."
• "Smells like Bigfoot's dick."
• "We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together."
• "Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off."
• "Take me to Pleasure Town."
• "Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight."
• "No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good."
• "It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way."
• "Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline."
• "They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time."
• "Well... Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr."
• "Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women."
• "Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you."
• "You are not a man. You are a big fat joke."
• "I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."
• "You are a smelly pirate hooker."
• "Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?"
• "I said... your hair... looks stupid."
• "Oh Audrey - I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Alright?"
• "Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league."
• "You've got a dirty whorish mouth."
• "Ribs. I had ribs for lunch, that's why I'm doing this."
• "For just one night let’s not be Co-workers. Let's be Co-people."
• "Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?"
• "Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!"
• "What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay."
• "I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you."
• "Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you."
• "I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal."
• "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."
• "I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here."
• "She... Sh... It's terrible. She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon."
• "Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina."
• "I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?"
• "I will take your mother out to a nice seafood dinner and NEVER call her again!"
• "Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint!"
• "Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era."
• "Get out. Just go. We are through. Through. Because of your actions, you scorpion woman."
• "Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight / Gonna grab some afternoon delight / My motto's always been, "When it's right, it's right" / Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?"
• "The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show..."
• "I'm not a baby, I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN."
• "I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party."
• "Wow, this burrito is delicious, but it is filling."
• "I love lamp."
• "I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded."
• "If you want to throw down fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary ready for ya."
• "How now brown cow."
• "I don't normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney. I mean, that thing's good. I wanna be friends with it."
• "You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney. I mean, that thing's good."
• "I will not eat cat poop."
• "I'll eat the whole hunk of shit. I don't care."
• "Hey, this is me, Papa Burgundy."