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"You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair." "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly..." "That's the smell of desire my lady." "God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me." "Smells like Bigfoot's dick." "We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together." "Panda Watch. The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off." "Take me to Pleasure Town." "Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight." "No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good." "It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way." "Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline." "They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time." "Well... Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr." "Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women." "Oh Ron, there are literally thousands of other men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you." "You are not a man. You are a big fat joke." "I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science." "You are a smelly pirate hooker." "Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?" "I said... your hair... looks stupid." "Oh Audrey - I look like hell! I got bags under my eyes. What's that? Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Alright?" "Well if you were a man, I'd punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That's bush. Bush league." "You've got a dirty whorish mouth." "Ribs. I had ribs for lunch, that's why I'm doing this." "For just one night letís not be Co-workers. Let's be Co-people." "Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?" "Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!" "What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay." "I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you." "Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you." "I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal." "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany." "I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here." "She... Sh... It's terrible. She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon." "Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina." "I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?" "I will take your mother out to a nice seafood dinner and NEVER call her again!" "Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint!" "Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era." "Get out. Just go. We are through. Through. Because of your actions, you scorpion woman." "Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight / Gonna grab some afternoon delight / My motto's always been, "When it's right, it's right" / Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?" "The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show..." "I'm not a baby, I'm a MAN, I am an ANCHORMAN." "I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party." "Wow, this burrito is delicious, but it is filling." "I love lamp." "I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded." "If you want to throw down fisticuffs, fine. I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary ready for ya." "How now brown cow." "I don't normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney. I mean, that thing's good. I wanna be friends with it." "You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney. I mean, that thing's good." "I will not eat cat poop." "I'll eat the whole hunk of shit. I don't care." "Hey, this is me, Papa Burgundy."